WHAT I HAVE LEARNED?

Ed's Note: Fowarded e-mail by a former officemate. (Thanks, qt_may08)

---ooo--0-0--ooo---

I have learned many important lessons through the journey of my life.

I found that sometimes we have to go through many heartaches before we finally find our true love. I believe we have to go through all the heartaches to teach us the good and bad in a relationship. And this way, when we finally find our true love we will have learned these things, and we will do it right this time.

Communication is very important in a relationship. If we dont have this then we truly don't get to know each other. Never walk away from a problem just to leave them unresolved. If you do this, the problems will always be there. Everyone has arguments, but that is ok because that is a form of comunication. When you disagree on minor things, do your best to compromise... Sometimes we have to do things we don't really like or want to do. Sometimes we just have to put those feelings aside and do what's best. We can't always be right, even though we would like to be.

If we put all our effort into making the relationship work, but your partner just isn't doing the same. Then sometimes things just are not meant to be. A relationship should be a two-way street, not a one-way street. No one can honestly be happy in a relationship based on a one-way street. So please don't live your life at a dead end. We all have a special someone on this earth just for us. And in time you will find that love.

When your in a relationship and your mate gives you more bad times than good, the relationship may just be the wrong one for you. When your partner calls you awful names or does awful things and makes you feel worthless, it's best to get out of it. Your partner will tell you they are sorry and that it won't happen again. But almost always things just get worse and not better.

When your partner hits you, they almost always will do it again, no matter what they say. Don't ever stay in a bad relationship just for the kids because this isn't just unhealthy for you, but for the children too. Children learn from the things they see. So if they are in an unhealty relationship, they most likely will be too as they grow older.

These are just a few lessons I have learned in the journey of my life. I will forever learn lessons until my journey in life ends.

~Dreams will come true~
You have to truly believe in your dreams. Don't ever let go of your dreams. It's only you that can make your dreams come true. Yes, others can encourage your dreams to make them come true. But in the end, it's you that made your dreams come true.

When another tries to make you feel weak, show them just how strong you really are. Stand on your own two feet.

When you feel as though you just can't take anymore of this life, don't give up because there will be better days ahead.

When your heart has been shattered in so many pieces, don't give up on love because it will never give up on you.

I wanted to share the lessons I have learned though my journey in life. I hope that maybe these lessons will help someone else. We will never stop learning new lessons until our journey in life ends.



- nice di ba?

Last Night a DJ Saved My Life

Ed's Note: I cannot help but sigh...

--oo---0-0---oo--

There are some love letters we can never write.

There are those times when, no matter how much our souls cry out with their stories burning to be told, their sleepless dreams waiting to be realized, there’s just no point in writing that love letter in your head because you’re never going to give it, and they’re never going to read it, and I mean really read it.

Do you believe like I do that letters have souls? That love letter would eventually have to be an orphan, and you would be responsible for it.

My heart is breaking again, and I sit here in front of the screen, searching for meaning, waiting to be absolved, and wonder if this is really what I said I expected. Of course I deserve this feeling and everything that comes with it: those moments of rottenness, of feeling alone, those vents of pointless jealousy, those wasted tears; because if you were a girl in your proper mind you wouldn’t play with fire. But I did. I slept with a married man.

I didn’t even know what I wanted to accomplish, and I sometimes make my own self laugh when I think about that ruthless, vicious woman I make myself appear to be when, in front of all my friends, as they listen goggle-eyed and speechless, I relate my wild stories of obsession, design, compulsion, and finally, sweet conquest. Oh, they were good friends. They tried to warn me about what could happen to me. Disease and scandal. A broken heart. But I am bullheaded. Always wanting to be one step ahead of them, I reassure them that I’ve been through it all, and didn’t I survive? Look at these scars. I wear my brazen honesty like a rusty halo. The daredevil stunts I perform with these breakneck stiletto heels on the deadly ramp and my bloody pumping heart on my delicate sleeve are no match to my strength. Sister, I eat pain for breakfast everyday, and didn’t I turn out quite marvelous for it? Aren’t you glad you have me as a friend? Don’t you wish you were more like me?

But do you know the secret of my immeasurable strength? I did not derive it from common and filthy pain. I get it from the love of a man named Jeremy Glenn, a man I appear now to have forever lost, but my heart knows otherwise. Don’t ask how it knows, because my heart and I have a private language and you won’t understand it. But it knows. I know it now more than I know that the sun would rise tomorrow. I know it as much as I know that I’ll be all right when all this is over. Because Jeremy loves me, and I will find him again. And because of that I have a will and a reason to pull myself through each hitch, each mess, each broken heart, because at the end of this mud-stained and gory tunnel, he is waiting for me…

Why do I still pull these stunts then? To pass the time? To prove myself to somebody? Maybe to retaliate at this awful stupid world because it endeavored to, and still does, pull my only source of true beauty and true strength as far away from me as possible? I’ll give you three guesses. I don’t know.

This latest conquest, Shawn Ray, a.k.a. Slam, the incendiary MC who has ignited so many parties (or so many panties, God knows), whether he’s a feather on my bra or a gnat on my skin is still debatable. I still don’t know who played whom.

I met him in the bar he had just then been commissioned to DJ in every Friday, called The Heat. His first Friday. People, secondhand cigarette smoke, tequila shots, eyes laced with mascara, girls and playas out for blood. A hiphop party. He was introduced to every girl in the club, but singled me out because he thought I didn’t belong there. A UP college instructor, an MS in Mathematics, non-smoker, non-drinker, who claims to have come only to get high on the music and the night. What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this. To meet you, lover boy, to catch your eye and maybe coax your heart into my parlor if you ever wore it within sight, among your bling-blings. And maybe you can be the next prince of my poetry, the king of my fantasies, and we can live happily ever after in your thug mansion.

Then followed the chase. Ahh, sweet enticements and stimulating little rewards of hunting down the pursued. The thousand-peso L’Oreal makeup and the scandalous miniskirts. The borrowed earrings and the late-night sneaking out of the dormitory. How young I was and how brash and how reckless. How delicious each moment of breathing the midnight air and letting it wake you up to the roots of your hair when your parents are asleep at home, oblivious of where you are.

How simple it would have all been if he had not been married, but he was, and he told me right up. I could have backed off because there was no way I was going to get entangled in another one of those cute little postcard street pictures with the pretty smiling wife, chubby little baby, barbecues in the backyard and the pleasant newspaper boy riding among the acacia trees. I should have known better and I did, smart ass UP Diliman woman-of-the-world type that I was. But wanting some piece of that gangsta love I proceeded with the seduction and eventually succeeded.

Did I tell you the sex was incredible? Did I tell you my spine still tingles thinking about it, my mouth still sore where I enticed him to bite it, my senses still on fire? Did I tell you I’ll probably never forget it, the way he moved and the way I followed every time he did? Did I ever take the time to make you understand that kind of raw pleasure, that deep intense want, those illusory images of reaching out to him spiritually so we could hold each other to the core of our beings?

And here I am three weeks later diagnosed with this.

How could I have been so stupid? When the rubber didn’t fit that could have been my cue to get out, pack your bags and go home to those responsible blue books of calculus exams you haven’t even looked at sleepless week after sleepless week. He could have fathered a child in me. And him a total stranger! And somebody else’s husband! I shake my head at myself in the mirror, then I sit on my bed, bundle up the covers around me and weep for what I lost.

I’m sure I deserve this, maybe more. A girl with everything to lose should know when to stop, and I didn’t. It is not something that would kill me; I am taking medication and would be just fine in a couple of weeks. It is inconvenient but it’s not what I weep for.

I have fallen in love with Shawn. And therein I lost everything.

I wish he were the sort of guy who runs away after they get what they want from you. Or the type who gets freaked out by overly obsessive girls who can’t eat, can’t sleep, and spend the better part of each night sending moony text messages as if he and you were teenagers all over again. Or the kind of cheater quick on the draw but also on the guilt, so that right now his conscience would be eating away at him and he wouldn’t be able to look his wife straight in the eye and would make a sign of the cross every time I was near.

But God damn it, he isn’t. I come at him stripped of my lace and leather, wearing only my bruised heart crying to be nursed back to life and he takes it in his arms every time and sings to it as if pain had no place in my life. I wish he would do something that would turn me off, something that would deliberately hurt me so that I could hate him and cry about loving the wrong man and ultimately move on. But every Friday he plays out there in The Heat waiting for me.

But the fact still remains that I did love the wrong man.

But somewhere in that sentence is the fact that I love the man.

I wish, I wish, I wish. A hundred million things with a hundred million reasons standing on a hundred million dreams. Does he know that my hands are smaller than his? Does he know that his shirts smell strongly of the fabric conditioners they use on Laundromats? Does he know that he is a good dancer, and a smart talker? That I remember every word he says, and read every message he sends more than once?

And does he know that I do expect of him to put his wife before me, but it still hurts me every time he does? Does he know that when I walk, when I sleep, when I eat, I am actually writing a love letter to him inside my head, a love letter I can never write?

I am too smart to be a mistress and I’m not going to be.

And why am I still so damn proud? Talking as if I got matters in control when in truth I am neck deep and can’t cry out for help. Thinking that I could ruin Shawn Ray with one fell sweep of my pen when in fact I am sitting here in front of my screen trying to elude having to hold my pen because I am deeply ashamed.

When I hear hiphop music it scares me.

Six weeks ago, when I met him, I wrote with these hands, with my pen, “…I am feeling a beautiful ache, the sweet and gentle one that makes you sing and cry and shout at the moon. How a single night and a couple of fantasies utterly change you. Words can only take you so far in describing it. Somewhere in this vast universe, there is a beat playing itself, and I resonate to its drums as if I had danced to it as an unborn spirit. The next time I see the sweet and sexy MC Slam, I’d thank him for doing this to me.”

Just the other night I wrote, while I still could (I can’t now), “I am so intensely miserable. Sometimes you’d imagine it’s scary being in the complete mercy of a married man but then you end it to start getting things right again and you realize it is unbelievably frightening to let go of that crazy illusion that he just might love you back when that illusion had been the backbone of your nights and the beauty of your mornings for quite some time. It is very scary to realize that not only have you been alone all alone, but that you are alone right now.”

My friends say I write poetry.

I want to write a love letter, but I can’t.

Please, don’t judge me. I have already judged myself.

Article was contributed by alliyah at Peyups.com

Un-break My Heart

Ed's Note: Wala lang, i just feel like singing....

--ooo---0-0---ooo--

No me abandones así
hablando sólo de ti.
Ven y devuelveme al fin
la sonrisa que se fue.
Una vez más tocar tu piel
el hondo suspirar.
Recuperemos lo que se ha perdido.

Regresa a mí,
quéreme otra vez,
borra el dolor
que al irte me dio
cuando te separaste de mí.
Dime que sí
Ya no quiero llorar,
regresa a mí.

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Chorus:
Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Bridge:
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Coda:
Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on

MELANCHOLY

I am destined to be alone and miserable.

To stare idly at nothingness; to fantasize about the impossible; to wish for things that can never be achieved; to hope for a love that can never be given.

To sit like a statue in the midst of darkness; to cry and yet not shed a single tear.

To be devoid of emotion; or at least be adept at hiding pain and frustration; to always seem to move on and yet in truth dwell in the past; to forgive but never forget.

To be ruled by fear rejection and yet foolishly try and try again to establish a connection; to fail at it; to try again, and again, and again, and again; and to disappoint myself each time.

To want to love and be loved in return, and find only emptiness and loneliness.

To have people think I’m crazy; and yet know that they just don’t understand; to suffer the indignation of having to notice every bit of ignorance, stupidity, and narrow-mindedness the world possesses and hate it; all the while grappling with the reality that I’m not so perfect myself.

To be fated to be loved only misery, melancholy, melodrama, and self-pity; to love a person who does not seem to exist; to put all my hopes, dreams, ambitions and aspirations on a person who’s probably going to let me down someday.

To bare out my soul this way because there isn't any other means by which I can express myself; to fill dozens of notebooks with unspoken thoughts; and to read them again and again from time to time just to remind myself how pathetic I am.

To be a dreamer and a realist at the same time; to ask myself questions I know the answers to; to speak to myself for lack of another person to talk to.

To devour romantic movies and relish each kiss, each dance, each song, each and every single piece of dialogue as if it were my own; and to know the whole time that such things will never happen in my life.

To believe in forever and everlasting love, and yet be given the complete opposite every time I do fall in love.

To tell anyone who bothers to listen that I see myself married to her; and then lose her; to say it again about another person; and lose her the same way.

To fail at almost everything I try to do; to be ridiculed at every decision I make; to have people I know make stupid jokes and hurtful comments behind my back.

To always be second best or less; to watch my dreams fade away into nothing; to always have to suck it all up and say “Shit happens.”

To realize that all of this is my fault; that I make myself miserable; that I choose to wallow in self-pity and melodrama; and know that I can do absolutely nothing about it, since it seems that it's the only thing I can do well.

Yes, I am truly destined to be alone and miserable.

Article was contributed by IAmStorm at Peyups.com

MASKS

One fateful December night, when the stars were sparkling their sparkling best, when the moon were lording over the glittering sky, a barrage of questions clouded your mind.

How could you radiate such peacefulness when you are full of angst inside, full of complaints against the world, burning with hate, plotting for the destruction of human race? How could you be so gentle even if you are chaos personified? How could you be so meek when beneath that thick skull is a diabolical mind? It seems you are too good to be true, too impossible to exist, too inhuman to be human, how could you be so?

Your questions were endless, having the fury of a failed rain. I tried to answer them one by one; I tried to point out and clarify any misconceptions about me and my existence.

And as I laid carefully my philosophy before you, point by point, concept by concept, I observed that you were listening intently like a student listening to his master. You tried to catch up with me, but my words seems faster than your thoughts. Probably because I succesfully demystified things, all I said overwhelemed you; it came to a point that you become numb for an hour or so.

"Ikaw naman kasi eh," I said to her, "trinigger mo ang pagiging pilosopo ko. Ayan tuloy gumulo ang utak mo."

I waited for your comment, half-expecting that you would go on with your tirades against me and sermons about life, of how great the good Lord is, why life is good, beautiful and rosy and sweet and everything an idealist would say. In short, I was ready for your rebuttal.

But your reply was a sweet smile and a long hug.

"Please, no more. Let us just enjoy the night," you begged. I resigned and hugged you back.

"Your wish is my command, ma'am," I softly whispered to her.

I'm euphoric for rare moments like this, when I can take off my mask without hesitation because there was no need of pretending, no need to hide.

We all wear masks in some points of our lives to hide the real us, to hide the monsters inside our closet. Only true friends have the capacity to discover the face behind the mask. And you discovered mine as we took a journey no one would expect to last. You understood my predicament, my dilemma. You understood well that I wear masks so I can be as sociable as anyone else, so I can live a "normal" life. You understand too well that most of the populace hate people like me - indifferent, anti-social, anarchist, liberal and non-conforming. You understood that in order for me to survive in this narrow-minded society, I must assume a different personality, sport a different image because everyone would scourn me to death if I present the real me to them - it would be lamb to slaughter. You understood my double life.

And for this I thank you.

###############

Before, I was full of hate, I was angry and antsy. I was evil so to speak - though such conceptions are relative to any existing dogmas and perspectives and are oftentimes debatable because we don't live where everything is absolute, we live where everything is relative.

Before, I used to hate every person, even the one near me who has done nothing to me except breathing the air I was breathing. Before, I was full of hate and angst that it drove me nearly to my "death" - my hatred was inconsumable, an immortal flame burning inside me.

Then you came along, a firewoman who started putting out the fires.

Article was contributed by apocalypse at Peyups.com

MY MOVING ON LETTER

Ed's note: When I read this article, I said to myself, "Are you writing my own story?"

Wala lang. I can completely relate to it kasi. Me & the author are on the same boat, hehehe!

--ooo---O-O---ooo--

This is my way of moving on, of saying goodbye to a love that was never meant to be and was never mine to begin with.

You know, I've never really understood what happened between us...how and why we came to this - not seeing each other for months at a time, barely talking, barely even on speaking terms. But then again, was there ever an us to begin with? We were just friends who kidded about having a relationship. It made us laugh to see others' reactions every time we'd tell them we've gotten together and that we call each other Hugs and Kisses. You always referred to me as "girlfriend ko" but we both know there's really nothing to it, or at least that was what we owed up to the rest of the world. Even now it would make me smile to think how fast and how far things have gone from there.

We started spending a lot of time together, talking, eating, and playing bridge...we would always choose to closely sit next to each other with your arm around my shoulders and my hand on your lap...we would hold hands and be very affectionate with each other...we even had private jokes that we didn't want to explain or share with anyone else...and every moment we spent together was fun even if we weren't doing anything at all. Friends say that there's this tenderness with which we look at each other, a twinkle in our eyes and a soft smile on our lips that held so much promise...but what we had was never formalized, no words were spoken, nothing clarified nor explicitly admitted. We were playing mind games practically all the way.

I never knew if you loved me back, I never asked. At first it was because I truly believed there wasn't anything out of the ordinary that needed questioning, and when it finally dawned on me, it was too late. You seemed to have changed your mind already. From this point onwards, things went from happy, even blissful, to downright ugly. Suddenly it was as if we didn't know each other. You stayed as far away from me as possible. This time I wanted to talk, clear things up once and for all, but you didn't want to. And no matter what I say, everything falls on deaf ears. Eventually, I thought it was better to keep my silence, to just give you the space you're asking for.

But though I may not have said anything...I loved you with all my heart, and love you still, but I'm tired - I'm tired of fighting for a love that has lived its moment...of living on memories that are special only to me...

Thank you for everything...for taking away my insecurities; for showing me that people do love me for who I am; for making me understand that people I love will hurt me but it doesn't necessarily mean they love me any less, and that when they do hurt me, it is possible to forgive, forget and move on with life; for making me realize it is possible to trust again after getting hurt. Thank you too for giving me the most painful lesson in my life thus far...that the moment you love someone you have given him the capacity to hurt you, that how much you hurt is equal to how much you have loved, that getting hurt is proportionate to having too many expectations. Thank you for accepting me and allowing me enough room to grow at the same time...for inspiring me and making me want to become a better person. Thank you for being there when I needed you - for the silly and the serious moments; for making me laugh, smile and cry all at the same time; for holding my hand when I'm nervous or scared; for giving me a hug and wiping away my tears when I'm sad or confused; for never failing to make me feel better no matter how down or how depressed I've become; for unselfishly sharing my joys and my happiness. Most of all, thank you for making me feel special, for making me feel loved, even if it was so ambiguous and so fleeting I was hardly conscious about it.

I'm sorry things had to come to this - I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you after all, and I wasn't supposed to expect anything to come out of our playing pretend either. But even if everything got so painful, I'm still glad to have known you, to have had you in my life even for just a short while. I've heard people say that while some good things never last others don't even start - I guess that fits us exactly...we could have been good together...good for each other, but then since we never really gave ourselves a chance, things had ended before they even began.

I'm letting you go, I'm letting us go. I've finally accepted that this is the way things would have to be, that i should allow us both to be free enough to seek whatever it is that will truly make us happy. Even if it isn't with each other.

I must admit you probably won't be too far away from my thoughts, and that thinking of you will still bring that tinge of sadness and regret. But I'm okay. I will be okay. Loving again may take awhile though. For now, I'd concentrate on healing myself, on making myself complete on my own - so that when the right one finally comes, I'll be able to give myself to him as I would have wanted to give myself to you.

Wherever life may lead us from here...good luck!

Article contributed by aouie at Peyups.com

WANTED: DENTIST!!!!

This is really frustrating!

My tooth really hurts! It has been bugging me for several days now. And the only resort is through surgery.

Impacted tooth kasi yung lower right wisdom tooth ko. Kainis kasi, bakit lihis pa ang pagkaka-erupt niya.

Di pwede ang simple extraction kasi marupok na ang crown ng wisdom tooth ko na yun... maiiwan pa rin yung root kaya kailangan talaga operahan.

And hindi biro-biro ang halaga no'n. The procedure ranges from 5,000-15,000 pesos lang naman, depende sa dentist na pupuntahan mo.

Baka may kilala naman kayong dentist na mura lang maningil pero magaling at sure naman na dentist talaga (with PRC license & everything) paki-refer naman po ako... yung medyo tumatanggap ng "charity" kasi hindi naman po ako mayaman. Kung payag siya na "hulugan", mas maganda, matanggal lang ang ngipin na ito dahil sobra na pahirap sa akin.

Apektado halos lahat... work, mood, haaay!!! Pahirap talaga!

I'd rather have a migraine attack than to have toothache! Waaaaaaaah!!!

Comments are welcome... sana may mai-refer kayo sa akin na charitable na dentist. Thanks!

DAHIL SA ISANG LUMPIA...

Editor's note: I saw this article few years back from a certain "EhPinoy" sa kanyang Brinkster blog. Unfortunately, missing link na ito. Buti na lang the article was saved.

Napanood n’yo na ba ang palabas na "Ang Dating Daan" sa RJ TV 29 na dating nasa channel 13. At ang host nito ay si Mr. Eliseo F. Soriano at hindi si Brod Pitt no! Ano hindi n’yo kilala si Mr. Eliseo Soriano. Ok…ok…kung hindi ninyo talaga siya kilala eh i-describe ko na lang s’ya sa inyo.

Tan…Ta…Na…Nan…Tan…Tan…Tan…Tan…..Tan !!! (torotot).

Kinalulugod kong ipakilala si Mr. Eliseo Soriano…..

Nyeeeeee!!! Bakit lumpia?!!! Ano ba namang utak meron ako waaahh!!!

Seriously, maaring nagtataka kayo kung bakit lumpia ang pumasok sa utak ko. We'll ewan ko rin kung bakit.basta ang alam ko lang eh ito.

Dear Ate Helen, (sabay tugtog ng background music)

Isang araw pagkatapos ng pasok ko sa school naisipan kong dumaan sa Munoz kasi may Coordinating Center pala sila doon. Maiinit ang sikat ng araw ng mga oras na 'yun, tagaktak ang pawis ko. Aray ko ang sakit na ng tiyan ko kasi di pa ako kumakain ng tanghalian. Kahit na parang tambol na ang tunog ng tiyan ko at tila mamamatay na ang mga alaga ko.eh ok lang kasi pamasahe lang ang baon ko.

Hayyyy sa wakas nakarating din ako waaah ang INIT nakakauhaw.

Eh Pinoy : Magandang tanghali po dito po ba yung Ang Dating Daan?

Babae : Oo Brod, bakit po.

Eh Pinoy : Kasi po napanood ko sa TV na may doktrina daw po ngayong Lunes?

Babae : Ahh.meron nga pero mamaya pang 7:00 PM ang umpisa ng doktrina.

Eh Pinoy : Ha.alas-siyete pa po.

Patay anong gagawin ko.alas 4 pa lang.

Babae : Kung gusto mo maupo ka na lang muna d'yan at hintayin mo na lang.

Eh Pinoy : O sige ho.pahingi na lang po ng tubig..

Babae : O sige.

Makalipas ang limang taon at bumalik sa tamang pag-iisip si Rosalinda at binalikan ang kanyang anak kay Fernando Jose. Nyeee ibang palabas yata 'yun ah.

Ang tagal mag-a-ala-singko-medya pa lang. Nakakainip. Wala akong ibang magawa kundi panoorin ang mga nagluluto sa kusina na dinadaan-daanan ako. Makatulog na nga lang muna.

Nakakainis di ako makatulog.dinadaan-daanan lang ako dito. Hmmm.Etong isang ito.kanina pa daan ng daan itong nagluluto na ito ahhhh. Nakakahilo siya no.Nang biglang ngumiti.

Anong ngini-ngiti nito sa akin kilala ba kita (sabi ko sarili). Ngiti na lang din ako sa kanya. At dumaan uli 'tong nagluluto na ito sa harap ko.ng biglang nasabi ko sa sarili ko.Hindi ba ito si Mr. Eliseo Soriano.yung mismong host ng..sya nga....siya nga.si..si.si. Bro. Eli.Si Bro. Eli.

Hindi ako makapaniwala si Mr. Eliseo Soriano ang taong ito. Ang taong pabalik-balik sa kusina na abala sa pagluluto ng lumpia.di ako makapaniwala.di ako makapaniwala.di talaga ako makapaniwala Ate Helen. Kahit sino eh hindi rin agad s'ya makikilala: naka-shorts, magulo ang buhok dahil sa pagluluto, pawisan dahil sa init habang hinahalo ang lumpia sa kumukulong mantika.

Siya ba talaga ito? Baka kapatid nya lang? Baka kamukha lang. Mga katagang pumasok sa aking isipan ng makita ko ang taong ito. Wala akong masabi, hanga ako sa taong ito. Kaya kung sinoman ang nagsasabi na kurakot itong taong ito.sa maliit na paraan na ito masasabi ko na nakita ko ang isang bagay na hindi nakita ng karamihang sa atin.

AND SO IT GOES...

"Anong oras na? Hindi pa dumarating si yaya! Paano ako makakaalis ng maaga nito? Eh ang usapan namin alas-4 magkikita sa lokal para sabay-sabay pumunta ng Araneta!"

Ganito ako ka-excited noong Dec. 12. Eh paano ba naman hindi ka mae-excite eh hindi basta-basta okasyon ang meron dun. SILVER ANNIVERSARY ng programang ANG DATING DAAN! Mind you, 25 years! Bihira ang programang tumatagal ng gano'n! Ang isa pang programang alam ko na nakaabot ng 25 years ay ang EAT BULAGA. Tutulan niyo ako kung meron pang ibang programa dito sa Pilipinas na umabot ng 25 years.

4:20 pm na nung makarating ako sa Araneta Center. Nakasalubong ko ang ilang mga "pantas sa itaas ng kisame" (Jerex, Xeven at ung isa di ko alam ang name, hehehehe! sori pow!). Term ko yun sa kanila noon pa, kaya pabayaan nyo na ako. Manlilibre raw si Xeven sabi ni Jerex, kaso nagmamadali nako no'n eh. Naghihintay na kasi sa Klownz yung bisita ko, si Germaine. First time naming magkikita no'n, sa picture ko pa lang siya nakita. Pagdating ko dun nakilala ko naman siya agad, kaya I guided him agad towards the Red Gate ng Araneta Coliseum. Luckily, may naka-reserve nang seats sa amin that's why we were able to seat in a nice location. Nasa Lower Box A kami, halos katabi ng stage. While waiting for the program to start, chika-chika muna w/ Germaine who was so excited rin kasi it was his first time to see Bro. Eli face to face. Tapos chika-chika rin with other brethren na I met along the area, text-text sa ibang mga kapatid na naghahanapan kung saan sila nakapwesto... basta, the ambience was simply AMAZING! Kung kukunin ko ang sinabi ni Germaine, "Iba ang aura dito, kakaiba talaga!"

Tapos nagstart na ang program. First was yung choir ng at teatro ng buong Metro Manila Division. Ganda talaga ng presentation nila! Tapos yung MMC, tapos si Hammilan, tapos yung Ang Dating Daan panel, tapos si Kuya! Grabe, aliw na aliw si Germaine. Sabi pa nga niya, "Ang galing naman! Para kang nasa langit!"

After a few hymns & a short prayer, may short history na in-introduce... afterwards, lumabas na si Bro. Eli! Dumagundong ang buong Araneta sa palakpakan at hiyawan ng mga tao! Banners & streamers were all over the place. Mababakas mo sa mukha ni Bro. Eli ang kaligayahan kasi ang daming bisitang dumating, there were approximately 7,000 visitors who came upang makibahagi sa pagdiriwang. And mind you, we have beaten the record in the history of Araneta Coliseum as to the number of audience. nasa 22,000 raw ang nasa loob ng Araneta that night, pwera pa yung mga nasa labas na hindi na nagawang makapasok dahil jam-packed na talaga sa loob! Kumbaga sa sinehan, STANDING ROOM ONLY na! Basta, tuwang tuwa ang lahat. Kahit na may ibinalita si Bro. Eli tungkol sa naging kaganapan sa Apalit Central noong araw na ring yun, hindi nito mapapalitan ang kaligayahan na naidulot ng suporta ng mga kapatid at bisita.

Hindi na pinatagal ang introduction, pinaunlakan na agad ang mga bisitang nais magtanong kay Bro. Eli (107 ang nakatala). Salamat sa Dios at wala namang nanggulo na nagpapanggap lamang na magtatanong. Hindi man umabot sa pagtatanong si Germaine, masaya na rin siya kasi halos lahat raw ng tanong niya, nasagot na rin sa pagkakataong iyon. Tuwang tuwa siya talaga nang makita si Bro. Eli!

Hindi ko na namalayan kung anong oras na natapos, basta pasado hatinggabi na ako nakarating sa dampa ko sa bundok, na may ngiti sa aking mga labi at magaan ang aking pakiramdam nung ako'y makauwi.

Gising pa ang aking mga anak, at kailangan nang umuwi ni yaya. Hindi ko na siya hiniritan na magpaumaga na lang. Ok lang, kahit pagod ako, masaya ako. Masaya ako kasi naging matagumpay ang pagkakatipon. I'm sure walang tututol!

SA DIOS ANG LAHAT NG KARANGALAN AT KAPURIHAN MAGPAKAILANMAN!!!

Depression blues na naman...

Kapag ganitong graveyard shift ka at wala kang masyadong ginagawa, maraming mga bagay ang pumapasok sa isip mo. Good thing na lang at ka-YM ko yung co-nurse namin sa CDO (Cagayan de Oro). Pareho kaming GY. Buti ok na ang YM connection niya, hehehe!

Maganda topic namin... pareho ata kaming mga HOPELESS ROMANTICS! Hahaha!

twinklingstarlet (2:01:36 AM): i was listening to this song almost over you....
twinklingstarlet (2:01:41 AM): asus gusto ko nang umiyak
leynski (2:01:43 AM): =))
leynski (2:01:50 AM): ang batang ire
leynski (2:01:58 AM): ma-emote ka rin pala hane?
twinklingstarlet (2:02:10 AM): bat kc almost pa...
leynski (2:02:12 AM): hehe
twinklingstarlet (2:02:32 AM): sana wala na ung almost
twinklingstarlet (2:02:43 AM): OVER YOU nalang sana
twinklingstarlet (2:03:00 AM): love nga naman ....

Ang tao talaga, may kani-kanyang tiisin.

Ako naman, mababaw lang ng kaligayahan ko sa mundo. Hindi ako pihikan sa buhay. Pero may mga pagkakataon na yung bagay na gusto mo eh hindi mo makukuha... maraming reasons, pero yun ang nararapat eh. masakit... mahirap... pero kailangan ngang gawin.

Naalala ko tuloy ang isang forwarded text message sa akin ng isang close acquaintance ko. She somewhat touched a "soft spot" in my heart:

"All I want in life is to love and be loved back. But sometimes, the only person you wanna be with & the only person that can make you happy is the person you really can't have."

All I can say is that a sad thing about life is when you meet someone that means a lot to you, only to find out in the end, that it wasn't bound to be and you just have to let go. Haaay.... life can be so tragic sometimes.

Pasensya na po, tao lang... pag ganitong mag-isa ka lang sa workstation mo eh mapapaisip ka lang. Oh well, blog ko ito. I will post whatever I want, whatever I feel to post. Akin ito eh, paki mo ba?!

Hehehehehehehehe!

From a Pencilmaker's Viewpoint

When he was packing them in their boxes, the pencilmaker told the pencils 5 important lessons:

first -- everything you do will always leave a mark;

second -- you can always correct the mistakes you made;

third -- what's important is what's inside you;

fourth -- in life, you will undergo painful sharpenings, which will make you a better pencil;

and the most important is,

fifth -- to be the best pencil you can be, you must allow yourself to be held & guided by the hand that holds you.

60 Seconds Worth

As we grow up, we learn that even the person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down, probably will.

You'll have your heart broken probably more than once, and it's harder everytime.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your bestfriend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much and love like you've never been hurt,

because...

...every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

On PRESSURE

There's no oil if you don't squeeze the olive;

no wine if you don't press the grapes;

no perfume if you don't crush the flowers...

...so if you're pressured,

GOD is just trying to bring out the best in you.

on LOSING SOMETHING

If we lose something, we lose it for a reason.

That reason might be hard to understand.

But whatever it is...

...we just have to believe that GOD takes away when HE has something better to give.

on TRIALS

Trials are like fire...

It can destroy or strengthen you depending on your character and outlook in life.

Remember:

The fire that melts butter is the same fire that hardens steel.

On LOVE

Loving a person doesn't need a criteria.

Kasi once you fall in love, you take the risk of accepting the person.

You don't need to find answers kung bakit mo siya mahal, kasi lahat nagbabago.

But if you accept that person magbago man siya in the middle of a relationship, hindi ka masasaktan kasi tanggap mo siya ng buo.

Mahirap gawin pero masarap subukan dahil wala nang sasaya pa if you let that one person feel na mahal na mahal mo siya without asking for anything in return.

Then you can say: Wow! Yun pala ang LOVE!!!

A New Cyber-Community For Filipinos Living in Canada

For those Filipinos living in Canada (paging: tatay, tita Jo, MJ, Bebang, and sa lahat ng mga may kaugnayan sa akin!), here's a very important announcement:

A new community portal exclusively for YOU has been created!

Please visit www.kabayan.ca

The site is currently under construction but you can already register and create posts as soon as you finished registering. If you have any suggestions, topics, and/or features that you may want to add, just tell us.

Filipinos in different parts of the globe are also encouraged to register. The more, the merrier!

You may leave your comments here or thru my shoutbox.

HOPE...

Marahil nga’y kay sarap maidlip at ‘di na magising
Lalo’t sanlaksa ang hirap at sakit sa dibdib
Marahil nga’y kay sarap panawan ng bait kahit na sandali
Ng mamanhid ang puso sa hapdi at kirot dulot ng sari-saring isipin

Ang luha ay ‘di na mapatid
at ang bukas ay tila isa na namang
nakahahapo at mabigat na pasanin

Ngunit may sumpang binitiwan
na di ko kailanman ninasang talikuran
Batid ko ang magbata ang magtiis ay di maiiwasan
upang ang pangako Mo’y aking makamtan

Kaya’t sa tuwing tila umaandap na ang pag-asa
Sa malawak mong langit yaring ulo’y itinitingala
Alam kong mahahabag at lilingap ka Ama
Habang sa tuwina’y nanganganlong at may Pagtitiwala sa Iyo

Marahil nga’y ang lahat ng ito aking babaunin
ng marating ang langit Mong tahanan
na paraisong pinapangarap

Pagkat nais kang masilayan
Makapiling ka sa ligayang wagas
at ang hapis ay isa na lang nakalipas

Kaya’t sa tuwing tila umaandap na ang pag-asa
Sa malawak mong langit yaring ulo’y itinitingala
Alam kong mahahabag at lilingap ka Ama
Habang sa tuwina’y nanganganlong at may Pagtitiwala sa Iyo

Bawat pagluha ay aariing yaman
Bawat pait, saklap ay aariing tamis
Bawat alimura ay aariing puri
Bawat dusa’y yayakapin at ipagpapasalamat

Pagka’t sa tuwing tila umaandap na ang pag-asa
Sa malawak mong langit yaring ulo’y itinitingala
Alam kong mahahabag at lilingap ka Ama
Habang sa tuwina’y nanganganlong at may Pagtitiwala sa Iyo

Ikaw ang tanging nalalabing... PAG-ASA

Ultraelectromagneticjam -- A Review

A friend of mine happen to provide me all 17 cuts of the newly launched ULTRAELECTROMAGNETICJAM Album (mind you, it was only launched last Nov. 30 at the UP Diliman Campus). It is already out in the market since December 1, and I'm sure many will buy it!

The songs, originally performed by the ERASERHEADS, were interpreted by different alternative bands and performers. Each performer has his/her own favorite song, and according to one article I read, they really enjoyed singing it, and they are really honored to interpret even just one Eraserheads song.

So for those of you who have not yet heard of the cuts, go to Tunog Kalye for a sneak hearing preview.