MASKS

One fateful December night, when the stars were sparkling their sparkling best, when the moon were lording over the glittering sky, a barrage of questions clouded your mind.

How could you radiate such peacefulness when you are full of angst inside, full of complaints against the world, burning with hate, plotting for the destruction of human race? How could you be so gentle even if you are chaos personified? How could you be so meek when beneath that thick skull is a diabolical mind? It seems you are too good to be true, too impossible to exist, too inhuman to be human, how could you be so?

Your questions were endless, having the fury of a failed rain. I tried to answer them one by one; I tried to point out and clarify any misconceptions about me and my existence.

And as I laid carefully my philosophy before you, point by point, concept by concept, I observed that you were listening intently like a student listening to his master. You tried to catch up with me, but my words seems faster than your thoughts. Probably because I succesfully demystified things, all I said overwhelemed you; it came to a point that you become numb for an hour or so.

"Ikaw naman kasi eh," I said to her, "trinigger mo ang pagiging pilosopo ko. Ayan tuloy gumulo ang utak mo."

I waited for your comment, half-expecting that you would go on with your tirades against me and sermons about life, of how great the good Lord is, why life is good, beautiful and rosy and sweet and everything an idealist would say. In short, I was ready for your rebuttal.

But your reply was a sweet smile and a long hug.

"Please, no more. Let us just enjoy the night," you begged. I resigned and hugged you back.

"Your wish is my command, ma'am," I softly whispered to her.

I'm euphoric for rare moments like this, when I can take off my mask without hesitation because there was no need of pretending, no need to hide.

We all wear masks in some points of our lives to hide the real us, to hide the monsters inside our closet. Only true friends have the capacity to discover the face behind the mask. And you discovered mine as we took a journey no one would expect to last. You understood my predicament, my dilemma. You understood well that I wear masks so I can be as sociable as anyone else, so I can live a "normal" life. You understand too well that most of the populace hate people like me - indifferent, anti-social, anarchist, liberal and non-conforming. You understood that in order for me to survive in this narrow-minded society, I must assume a different personality, sport a different image because everyone would scourn me to death if I present the real me to them - it would be lamb to slaughter. You understood my double life.

And for this I thank you.

###############

Before, I was full of hate, I was angry and antsy. I was evil so to speak - though such conceptions are relative to any existing dogmas and perspectives and are oftentimes debatable because we don't live where everything is absolute, we live where everything is relative.

Before, I used to hate every person, even the one near me who has done nothing to me except breathing the air I was breathing. Before, I was full of hate and angst that it drove me nearly to my "death" - my hatred was inconsumable, an immortal flame burning inside me.

Then you came along, a firewoman who started putting out the fires.

Article was contributed by apocalypse at Peyups.com